Day 28 – How to Identify a Meth Lab

Retired police officer wrote the following:

As a law enforcement officer, I have been approached by several people
lately wanting to know how to identify a Meth Lab. Following are four photos.
I think it’s pretty obvious which one is the Meth Lab.

I hope this helps. Let me know if I can be of any further service
in this matter.”

Day 27 – Why Napping With Kittens is an Oxymoron

At least with the Mesoamerican kittens currently occupying our guest room.  Mind you, we’ve had kittens who like nothing better than to curl up with us when we lie down, content to find a warm spot under a chin, against the curve of an armpit or crook of an elbow, or nestled in my hair, and just purr.  Haggis and company (the litter by which all kittens are held in measurement) would cling to us for hours like little cockleburrs when we sat on the couch. I used to call them our little lapel pins before they grew too big to cling without ripping fabric.

But Aztec, Toltec, Olmec and Maya?

Not so much.

Oh, they are adorable and sweet.  They love it when human company enters their room.  Evaki (momcat) starts purring almost immediately when she sees us.   But if I lie down, curling up and napping with me is not on the agenda.  They can be sound asleep when I come in (their favorite new perch is the lowest tier on the cat tree) and will stare at me sleepily, doing that adorable kitten blinking and yawning  for a few minutes while I settle myself comfortably on the futon.  I’ll burrow under the quilt and settle myself for a nap.

And then they wake up, one at a time, and decide to come explore the new object (me) in the room.  I’ll have my eyes shut and hear the ominous sound of kitten paws skittering across the hardwood floor.  I know something is looking at me; I can feel the heat of its stare through my closed eyelids.  Opening my eyes, I’m confronted with the wide, slightly

sociopathic stare that only a kitten can manifest (and still look adorable) as Maya, now nose to nose with me, raises one paw … “Ooh!  Those fringe things–” my eyelashes –“they move!  Must. Swat!”   

I try hiding under the quilt, but she just wriggles her way underneath and finds new things to attack, such as the string on my pajama bottoms, my hand and fingers, my elbow, my hair, my neck, my chin… 

And then her three brothers join her in a leaping, nibbling, swatting, springing, skittering display of feline acrobatics that is truly impressive, even if I am being used as a combination trampoline, springboard and protective cover.  Lots of places to crouch and hide behind, including more burrowing under the quilts.  They’re like little feline jumping spiders.  

Evaki, in the meantime, generally comes up next to me for some love.  Her expression suggests she really appreciates me giving her a break from her off-springs’ manic attention.  

The payoff (aside from the fact watching their antics is better than television) is when they wear themselves out, falling asleep in exhausted kitten piles wherever they’ve happened to collapse,  little purring bundles of love.  I may be tired a lot these days, but I never get tired of the experience. 

 

Day 22 – Better Late Than Never…

 Last night I had every intention of writing my post ahead of time, but this plan was derailed first by what was supposed to be a quick stop at Vin Debut, our favorite local wine store and bar in San Francisco, and then by brain-sucking kittens.  We really should have known better re: Vin Debut.  It’s never just a three hour tour.  James, one of the owners, was in and we ended up sitting and talking for at least an hour and having one or two more glasses of wine than intended.  This got us home around 6:30 or so instead of 5:30, and then cats and household had to be tended to, including the second time suck…  Kittens.

What can I say?  When they stare up at you with those wittle faces and start climbing on you and purring and curling up under chins, in the crook of an elbow or on stomachs… This on top of wine equals instant nap time.

So… no writing last night.  Good intentions lie out on the pavement somewhere.

We’ve been on the go today since getting up at 6:30 (waaaahhh!!!) a.m., something that seems just innately wrong on a Saturday.  A quick trip up to Healdsburg, then to the Bullseye Range for May’s Sisters in Crime NorCal meeting.  Sisters with Guns, you betcha!  We had some class time with one of their instructors, who discovered just how many questions a group of mystery and crime writers can come with having nothing to do with gun safety.   Then we did some shooting in their indoor range and I discovered just how much of a kick my snub nose Taurus .38 special has, which is a hell of a lot.  But … but it’s so wee and cute!   I’m happy to say all of my and Dave’s shots except two hit our zombie targets (I love the fact you can buy zombie target sheets), including a delightful grouping of headshots and one right through the mouth (that was Dave’s).  Bite THIS, zombie bitch!

Home now and spending time with cats, kittens and computer.  It’s been a very satisfying day.

Day 21 – Random Act of Literary Kindness

I was walking towards the stairs leading out of the Embarcadero Muni Station this morning, my nose (as usual) buried in a book.  I’m very good at walking and reading; my peripheral vision has been honed by years of practice and I can detect possible obstacles, driveways with cars backing out, and other dangers without breaking stride or losing my place in whatever book I’m reading.

I’m not the only person who does this (according to some sources, Lincoln was a walking reader, which isn’t the same as the walking dead… more like the walking oblivious), but sometimes the reactions I get from random strangers lead me to believe it’s somewhat of an oddity.  I’ve gotten everything from “Must be an awfully good book!” to “Wow!  How do you do that without walking into things?” or even “You’re gonna trip if you do that ” (I’ve no doubt the people who tell me this one indulge in regular sessions of Schadenfreude).

But today was the first time I had a stranger catch my attention by holding out a paperback book like a keeper holding a treat out to an animal (and I mean that nicely) and saying, “I just finished this one on the BART.” And, as I stopped and looked up, he added, “It’s really good.” And handed me the book.  I managed to stammer out a surprised and sincere “Hey, thank you!” as he smiled and headed toward the opposite end of the station.  

I have no idea if the book he gave me is good, bad or indifferent, or even a genre I usually read.  No matter, I will read it and enjoy it if just for the memory of such a random and cool gesture on a total stranger’s part.  

Day Twenty – Gotta Love Those Spam Comments…

I did a series of posts last year on the wacky spam comments I get in my blog moderation queue.  Most were the equivalent of something translated from Chinese to English and then back to Chinese again. I never approved the comments, but I did cut and paste them into blog posts.  

I received one today on my Day Fourteen – Writing Excerpt post (thoughtfully linked here in case you haven’t read it) that cracked me up so much it made it easy for me to decide what Day Twenty would hold.  Prepare to be bloodless and all-a-quiver!  

 

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