Today has already been a very good day. I very rarely sleep the whole night through, but the last two nights I’ve fallen asleep around 10:30 and slept till 6:30, waking up slowly and naturally around 7:00. Okay, yesterday morning Bug Bear helped me wake up by chewing on my chin, but there were no 1:00 am trips to the bathroom, no darkest before the dawn fits of insomnia as my brain chewed over everything I’m worried about, no panic attacks…just peaceful, dream-filled sleep. I love dreaming and will lie in bed an extra hour just to let my mind sift through the images and emotions that played through my sleep. I often dream of piranhas since we got Bug Bear, but that’s beside the point!
Up at 7:00 this morning, fed the beasties, and then Dave and I went for a long walk on the beach. We didn’t take a watch because I didn’t want to obsess about time. There are enough days when life has to be run on the clock, everything scheduled as to not miss my train, to get this project done on time, not be late to work, whatever. Today for instance, I want to have all my posting and emailing done by noon so I can get back to work on my novel. But I wasn’t willing to sacrifice the pleasure of my morning walk and part of that pleasure is turning back when I feel like it, not because the Watch Tells Me It’s Time.
There’s an expression ‘White man’s time’ that I’ve heard, referring to the tendency to be goal/time oriented, always racing to the next activity or event rather than enjoying the process and living in the moment. I’ve found when I can zen out about my projects and my day, time stretches out like taffy. One hour magically lasts for half a day and I get so much more accomplished because I’m not worrying about it. Our walk felt like hours, yet was only two and when we got home, I still had plenty of time to meet my self-imposed start time for working on the novel. I am not thinking about the fact tomorrow is Monday and I have to be back at my day job. I will not say or even think ‘I don’t want to go to work tomorrow.’ It’s not tomorrow yet, is it? So why waste a second of my lovely long weekend by worrying about it?