I’m legally blind.  Or at least I was until I had Lasik done Thursday evening.

Seriously, my left eye was 4.5 and my right 3.25.  Glasses off I could read up close.  Glasses on I could see far away, but anything too close was a blur.  Contact lenses at night, forget it.  I tried to read a map in the light of a dome light in the car and it was a big nothing.  That was five years ago and things deteriorated a bit every year.  My eye doctor told me Lasik was the best option, so…I finally bit the bullet (why does one bite a bullet, btw?) when I found out my insurance would cover part of it and I got to the point where I couldn’t see anything at night other than blurred images.

I went to Dr. Scott Hyver, who has made a name for himself in the Bay Area correcting the vision of the San Francisco 49ers.  The office staff and other doctors were courteous, friendly and efficient.  The procedure was explained in detail.  There were stuffed animals in the procedure room for those nervous patients needing something to hold.  I clutched a Beanie Tiger and a Beanie Rainbow bear to my chest during the entire thing.  It was weird, freaky and my eyes were held open with tape and metal holders that made me think of CLOCKWORK ORANGE during the procedure.  But it was also very quick and Dr. Hyver kept up a calm, running commentary during the entire procedure.  It was over in less than 10 minutes, possibly five.

I had to keep my eyes shut as much as possible for four hours after the surgery.  Dave set me up on the futon in the living room and put on A MIGHTY WIND and WAITING FOR GUFFMAN.  It hurt.  It felt like someone was going over my eyes with a cheesegrater for a couple of hours.  My eyes kept watering and my sinuses filled up.  I got a migraine.  But the next morning when I opened my eyes, I could see…well, I could see everything clearly.  I saw the trees outside the bedroom window, the leaves, a raven on one limb.  I could see which cat was perched on top of my jewelry box (bad cat!).  I had my follow up appointment that morning and could see distance with 20/20 vision.  I could read the smallest print closeup.  And my eyes are supposed to only improve for the next month.

Cool.