My Brains Are Leaking

I happened to catch a few minutes of TEQUILA, A SHOT AT LOVE II, a reality show based around pseudo-celebrity Tila Tequila’s (something about having the most friends on MySpace – I don’t know, I don’t wanna know) search for true love.  I’m still not sure what I did in this life or a past one to have deserved the assault on my eyeballs, brain and other sensibilities. but it had to have been bad.

My first glimpse of this train-wreck of a reality series was of a bunch of 20-something guys and gals (none of them rate high enough on  the maturity scale to be called ‘men’ and ‘women’ ) partying in the house of Ms. Tequila.  Every other word was bleeped out.   Frat boys, trailer trash, girls with nicknames like ‘Glitter’ ’cause, like, y’know, they wear glittery make-up everyday (insert majorly vapid giggle here), guys who think it’s funny to throw eggs at people during breakfast and whose idea of an apology is something the lines of “You need to chill out, bitch!”

Ah, the class.  These people make Paris Hilton (at least post DUI Paris Hilton) seem downright classy.  Lindsay Lohan would be right at home with ’em.  Brittany Spears…oh heck, I’m leaving her alone.  She’s been picked on enough lately.

Seriously, though, this show was offensive, disturbing and yet somehow vapid at the same time.   We, the audience, are supposed to care about Tila Tequila’s love life as she holds contests to find out which of these 20 idiots will be her true love.  She’s bi-sexual, so girls and guys have an equal shot to win her affections.  I’m not sure what kind of contests  – I didn’t see any of the contests.  I have no idea what her criteria  is; if her taste in romantic partners is anything along the lines of her taste in tattoos (she has two of the largest and ugliest tattoos I’ve seen on a woman and I have nothing against tattoos), she’ll probably pick Jake or Bo, two of the most obnoxious examples of walking penises I’ve ever seen.   They reminded me of a description Stephen King used to describe a group of boys who were lighting their farts and laughing; King described their laughter as ‘troll-like.’   A more perfect turn of phrase does not exist to describe Jake and Bo.

I am not a snob.  I used to watch BLIND DATE quite gleefully (partly because the producers had a sense of humor with their thought balloons and pithy host).    On the other hand, I hated THIRD WHEEL and ELIMIDATE because they played to the lowest common denominator; the contestants with any iota of class were voted out early and the ones willing to do lap dances and stick their tongues down one another’s throats generally won.   Only skanky whores (male and female) need apply.

What really disturbs me the most about shows like SHOT AT LOVE, though, is the lack of civility and anything even vaguely resembling basic manners and day to day common courtesy.  We live in a country and a society where it’s okay to be rude and to name-call.  It’s fine to speak one’s mind, unless the wrong – or the right – person disagrees, especially when politics are involved.  America has become an odd mixture of ‘we’ll say what we want to’ and ‘if you disagree, you’re a traitor/idiot/commie/bad person.   Oh, just think Ann Coulter.   I don’t care what political party she supports; her manners are atrocious.  She’s a nasty little stick-insect with the morals and ethics of a sociopath and the fact she’s been encouraged is…well, it’s wrong.   Whether or not one agrees or disagrees with her point of view really is beside the point.  It’s the total lack of manners and civility (and possibly sanity) that’s so disturbing.

And the total lack of common courtesy and, again, civility, is what I find so disgusting about A SHOT AT LOVE.

Maybe there were a lot more kids like that when I was in my teens and twenties.  I hung out with the drama crowd, renaissance faire and other assorted groups labeled as geeks.   The one time I dated a jock (we went to his Senior Prom) word came back that while he’d had a good time, he really wished he’d ‘taken someone who would have done it.’    Sure I got sick of hearing ‘huzzah!’ and ‘ho, wench!’  And there were definitely the Ren Faire versions of frat boys out there.  But the world of Ren Faires included chivalry along with the beer, turkey legs and jousting.  Flirtations were playful and there was at least a veneer of respect involved — unless you got the drunken frat knight shoving his hand down the wrong wench’s bodice.  I was a swordfighter, so I rarely had that problem.

I haven’t been involved in the Ren Faire world for years now; it may have changed.  For all I know, it’s become a costumed version of A SHOT AT LOVE and all the other sleazy reality shows out there.  I hope not.  I’m really hoping there’s still a shot at bringing civility back into America, both on and off television.

8 thoughts on “My Brains Are Leaking

  1. And yes, I’m aware of the irony and somewhat hypocritical fact I call people ‘walking penises’ in this post.

  2. The really sad thing is that I would absolutely love to see a decent lesbian dating show on TV. But the whole contrived “boys vs. girls” conflict is annoying (I can’t believe I’m hearing the exact doofus cliches again), Tila’s navel-gazing “will I find true love?” shtick already got tiresome last season, and the fact that the producers could only scrape up this current bunch of idiot douchebags and skanky ditzes just makes this season a trainwreck. I think Lewis Black’s “Root of all Evil” show nailed it on the head when they called her “a bad role model for hot Vietnamese bisexual girls.”

  3. It’s shows like that and the fact that they stay on the air that make me feel like an old fuddy-duddy. Which I suppose I would have to be, at least in part, to use ‘fuddy-duddy’ in the first place. Upon further reflection, I realize, that’s not the problem at all. The problem is I still have a sense of dignity and decency.
    Please tell me we weren’t that self-absorbed at that age????

  4. Y’know, we may have been fairly self-absorbed (most kids are until they’re in their late ’20s and start maturing) , but we weren’t that crass or that rude. Ugh. I feel unclean for having seen that show… I must take a scalding hot shower!

  5. This is a great post. I’ve been on an inadvertent reality TV show binge lately – what can I say? I have to watch something when it’s not football season, or I can’t clean my house…thus, America’s Next Top Model marathons. I couldn’t even tell you why it’s so weirdly compelling.

    But I digress. What you said.

  6. You think I should finish the manners book? With advice like “keep your cracks to yourself. Nobody wants to see or hear them.” I have a whole chapter on Don’t Do This In Public.

    Now get this – I’ve never seen a reality show. The only time my little TV gets used is for yoga videos and the occasional musical favorite. Oh, and Harry Potter movies. 🙂 Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple, too. Anything BBC is good, and the library has them all. I can’t believe people actually watch network TV. LOL.

  7. America’s Top Model? hee hee… that’s up there…as is Hell’s Kitchen, which I saw for the first time last night. We had a guest over and she watches that and America Idol. It was oddly easy to write while they were on…

    Dani, definitely finish the book! I love the ‘keep your cracks ot yourself’ line!

    If you haven’t seen a reality show up to now, stay strong and stay pure!

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