…A writer can get a bunch of rave reviews and yet the one that sticks out is the one really bad one? Is it because we have a deep inner need for everyone to love our work?
Well… yeah. 
Okay, I do know that’s not gonna happen. My writing style, particularly my sense of humor, is not for everyone. It SHOULD be, but since I don’t have the power (yet) to bend minds to my will, I have to live with differing opinions and tastes.
But still… you’d think reading nine glowing reviews in a row would dull the sting of one downright ‘I hate this book! It’s a BASTARD book and I hate its ass face!’ review just a little bit more.
Dave and I had a discussion during one of our beach walks about how we tend to remember the really annoying people in our lives more than the nice ones, spending more time dissecting the annoying behavior than talking about how wonderful and lovely most of our friends are. Not that we don’t talk about our amazing friends and family too. But the negative stuff just seems to demand a front row seat in our minds even when told it’s not welcome inside. Guess it sneaks in the back door.
Note to self: Lock the back door and hire a bouncer.
It’s the same with dates. Ever notice how stories about bad dates can go on and on and on? But when there’s a really nice one there isn’t much to talk about. “It was nice. We had a good time. We’re going to get together again.”
Many medieval mystics recount visits to heaven and hell; we’re most familiar with Dante’s version, but a surprisingly large number claimed to have been on the tour bus. Even people who’ve never read Inferno, know something about it — the virtuous pagans or the seven circles. Nobody reads Paradiso unless they have to — why? I think it sort of goes back to Tolstoy’s comment that happy families are alike in their happiness but each unhappy family is uniquely so.
Can this be true? No. But it feels true. Few people have experienced ‘perfection’: it’s hard to translate. Everyone has experienced pain: it’s a palette we know well.
Snort! So true, Stephen… although women will rhapsodize over really good dates to their friends.
Kate, another good point! Bad reviews are a writer’s purgatory…
It’s not a matter of you wanting everyone to like your work as it is wanting to at least be acknowledged and respected for the effort you put into creating it. Hopefully anyone with half a brain will not give credibility to anything that is stated in such a manner. It’s not a matter of liking or disliking your writing, it’s a personal attack, or at least feels like one.
Friends and family add positive energy, energy harmonious with yours. Negative people are like thorns in your sides which, if not removed, or put into perspective, will fester and threaten to destroy you. We are here and we love and support you. How dare someone hurt your feelings! If I knew who that person was I’d go kick THEIR bad ass. LOL
I had one recently where I just had to sit on my fingers and not say anything, because what I wanted to say was, “Listen, asshat, you have to be THIS smart to read my book, and obviously YOU FAIL! Get off the ride!”
Thoughtful critique is one thing. Hit and run nastygrams are another.
Arlene, very well articulated ’cause yeah, even if what I write doesn’t necessarily make someone laugh or isn’t their taste, I’d rather not be told, even my implication, that my work is shite.
OtherLisa, yup. What you said about thoughtful critique versus nastygrams.
I love otherlisa’s response!
Yeah, just regard them as the Russian judge who’s obligatory downer opinion you need to disregard…
-Kilt
Heh. At least those Russian judges don’t say “I give you FOUR, American Ass Person!”
It’s funny you should write this. I’ve been sitting on a blog post for a few days on this very subject. I think I might just post it now, as big of a risk as it might be….
I’m not completely in my right mind right now (crazy stuff going on in my life, family), so I might just be taking a leap off the proverbial edge; just the same, wish me luck, my friends.
If you do hire that bouncer, give him my number! But seriously, you are correct that we tend to dwell on the negative reviews and not celebrate the positive enough! I love your writing style, no mind bending needed. Just remember how many more of the “me”s out here that are supporting you!!
Lisa, go for it . And know we’ve got your back, okay?
Rebecca, right back at you!!
Hmm, I have no real words of wisdom like everyone else, but my 2 cents is that you remember it because it’s an affront to your work. Why shouldn’t everyone love every single word you slave to put into a cohesive story? Because they clearly have myopic tendacies, but that doesn’t make you feel better.
It seems to me that the “asshat” critic needs to tear down anyone with the talent to turn out anything. Neither you nor Lisa deserved this. I can vouch that you both have more talent on your little fingers than jerkface has in his entire being.
Sure it stings! You put your whole being into producing a damn good story and then you have to deal with this crap. Just remember that jealousy is the tribute that mediocrity pays to genius.
And KEEP FLYING! We’re all right there with you. 🙂
I’d just like to echo what the previous commenters said – especially Jack.
I love your writing, and I’m picky. 😉
Awww, thank you, you guys!